True Love Waits: the commitment to stay single until you are ready for marriage. It is entrusting God with your love life. It is waiting patiently until God gives you Mr. Right. It is a choice.          

I am one of the many single people who have entrusted my love life to the Lord. I am one of the few who are called N.B.S.B. (No Boyfriend Since Birth). Yes, I am one of them. Why? It is because I believe that if someone out there is meant for you, if someone is planned by God for you, he or she will come no matter what happens. 

 I made my decision to wait for true love when I was still in high school, when temptations to have someone special by your side is most frequent, when that desire to be loved was strong, when immaturity was still in progress, when people my age were having their relationships with the opposite sex. Was it hard? Yes, it was and it still is.           

But why oh why did I commit to staying single until I am ready for a lifetime commitment? My parents did not forbid me to have a boyfriend. I always wanted to have my prince charming. I am young; I should be enjoying the teenage romance. I should experience falling in love; everyone around me does it, why don’t I have a boyfriend?          

I just don’t think that now is the time for that, and I believe that God has already planned someone for me to be with for the rest of my life, with the assurance of ‘forever.’           

Some may not understand, some may even think that I’m just scared. I’m not. Actually, I am braver than they are.  Why? Because committing to True Love Waits is something that not everybody does because they fear of being single for the rest of their lives, they fear that they won’t be loved, they fear that they won’t have that person meant for them so they go from one relationship to the other.           

I am not condemning anyone here. I committed to waiting for him (whoever he is) because I want to be able to give him 100% of me. Mind you, when you jump from one relationship to the other, it’s leaving the persons you have had a relationship with, a part of yourself, a part of that heart that you can never take back. I want to be able to say “I love you” with full confidence and no hesitancy. I want to be able to say those words really meaning the full sense of it.          

Some may wonder how I will be able to keep a relationship going if I didn’t experience it before. I am telling you, it’s not easy waiting for true love. I have to be patient, and patience is very important in a relationship. I have to take risks, I have to stay true to what I believe in, and with that comes determination and the lesson of holding on, which is needed to keep a relationship strong. There are temptations lurking at every corner, so I have to guard my purity and be wise in everything I do. I have to remember that the consequences of my actions will also affect my future husband. I then learn the value of being responsible. See? How could I not be capable of handling a relationship when I am already learning the values needed for it by waiting?  Others say that having short-time romantic relationships will train young for marriage, but how will it be a training ground if these relationships will only end in brokenness? What’s the point of experiencing something knowing that it won’t last ‘til the end? If you want training, try making yourself into the best person that you will be. Try reaching your goals. Try developing yourself to your fullest potential. Try being satisfied first as a person, try being stable. Work yourself to being mature. So the moment you meet the one, you are ready for a lifetime of being in love and enjoying the benefits of having a permanent relationship.          

So how’s my experience of singleness now? It is simply priceless. I won’t give anything for this freedom that I am enjoying. Being free allows me to meet and know different people, may it be different personalities, even different nationalities. I enjoy interacting with these people, learning how I should deal on a person-to-person level. I don’t have to worry if someone will get jealous or will feel bad whenever I’m surrounded by others. I have the luxury of time and the freedom to spend it in any healthy way I choose. I am constantly in love! With whom? With life, with God, with friends, with my family. I enjoy my money! I don’t have to worry about dates and presents. I buy whatever I want whenever I want it. I am free to share it with other people. I am free to give my love to the people around me, mostly to my God then to my family and then to my friends. I don’t have to load my phone all the time (laughs).  I am free to run wherever I feel like going. I can spread my wings and soar as high as I can! I can focus on my priorities and develop myself to the person God wants me to be. I am free to follow my dreams and free to fulfill my calling. I don’t have to be tied down by someone.  With all of this going on in my life, how can I not hold on to that promise of waiting?  

Well, I must say that waiting for The One may take forever, and somewhere along the way are hurts and struggles, but I am willing to take all of that in. Why? Because in the end I know that all I went through will be worth it, when I meet my prince with the sureness of a “happy-ever-after”.

* Lisa is a 17-year old communication student in the University of the Philippines – Los Baños.

I want to make something clear before I share my testimony. I am not trying to lift myself up as a perfect example. If you need clarity on this, please read my post entitled “Just Like You.” God has blessed me with the opportunity to do college ministry here in the Manila for over four years now. True Love Waits has been one of the greatest blessings that has ever happened to our ministry. This program has enabled us to share the message of sexual purity with thousands of students.

I am passionate about this message. Why? First and foremost, I have experienced the benefits of following God’s commandments in this area of my life. I’ll take some time to explain this. My parents were extremely important influences in my decision for purity. They were very open with me about sex, and taught me that it was something for a husband and wife to enjoy together. My church also reinforced this idea through many wonderful teachers and youth ministers.

I am very thankful that I decided to wait, but it has not always been easy. I am part of the first generation to grow up with “MTV” and other such powerful media influences. I went to a typical American high school, so I heard many of my peers talk about their sexual conquests. Even some of my church mates began making unwise decisions and became sexually active.

As time has passed, I’ve seen the wisdom behind God’s commandments. I’ve observed great suffering by those who decided to do things “their way.”

I continue to make the same observations here in Manila. I have seen firsthand the devastating consequences of premarital sex in the lives of students. It is not unusual for students to drop out of school due to an unplanned pregnancy. I have counseled with students and seen the tears of shame and guilt that come from bad choices.

Waiting has many benefits. I sleep well at night—I do not worry about the possibility of having a disease, getting someone pregnant, or breaking someone’s heart. I can look into the eyes of ex-girlfriends (and even their husbands) with no shame.

Just in case you are wondering, I’m a healthy man with the same desires as any other man. I have sinned with my eyes and struggle with lust just like any other man. Without going into detail, I can also tell you that I have had opportunities for sexual activity. There have been times that sex has basically been offered to me with “no strings attached.” Fortunately, God always gave me the strength to resist temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Each time I start a True Love Waits seminar, I tell students that I want them to make the wisest choice for their lives. The wisest choice is to wait until you are married. If I can do it, you can too.

Knowing that my future wife will be my first and only lover is an incredible blessing to me. I believe there is someone out there who is saving herself just for me. She will be worth the wait.

www.kuyakevin.com

Maybe it’s because February is here, because for some reason, recent conversations I’ve had with friends keep returning to the topic of love. And when that happens, one thing is almost certain: I would have to explain why–in a time where being part of a couple is mostly the rule rather than the exception – I’ve chosen to stay single. A lot of people have told me that my standards are too high, that I’m too idealistic. So this got me thinking: Could they possibly be right? Am I waiting for someone who exists only in my imagination? Am I playing it too safe?

Maybe, in a way, I am being extra careful. I’ve made mistakes before, and I know the ache that comes from regrets over wrong decisions. But fear isn’t my motivation for waiting. It’s hope.

I’m hoping, no matter what the odds, that when the time is right, someone I can love without reservation will come. I am dreaming of a person who will be gentle with the most vulnerable side of me, the side that very few people get to see. More important than his physical appeal will be his wisdom, his tenderness, his faith. I’m not asking for someone who will go to the ends of the earth for me, but for someone who will take the effort to know me more deeply than anyone else has known me before. That may not be as easy as it seems – I am ridiculously neurotic when it comes to my personal boundaries. So I’m hoping that he will also have the patience and the sense of humor necessary to deal with the less-than-ideal aspects of my personality. And because I am obviously far from being perfect, I am praying that he will also trust me enough to let me see his flaws so that I can love him for who he is. Without hesitation, I would gladly trade all the moonlit serenades in the world for a lifetime of laughter and conversations with such a man.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for romance and the thrill of being in love. Every girl dreams of being swept off her feet. But what I’m saying is this: Without the friendship, without the spiritual bond, then all the roses and all the candlelight in the world will not make a relationship last. It’s the commitment that’s vital, more than the adrenalin rush. It’s the daily decision to make a conscious effort to put the needs of another person first. This, for me, is true love. And I know it doesn’t come easy. Love like this doesn’t grow in the time span of a slow dance or a kiss. It takes time: time to grow together, to learn about each other and to mature in generosity. So I’ve chosen to wait until I’m ready to give and to receive this kind of love. Because right now, I know that I still have a long way to go.

I know this is a risk – a risk of hoping, of trusting that somewhere in my future is the love story I am praying for. But I’m willing to take it. I’m ready to take the chance that I may be missing out on what could be the most exciting years of my life by waiting for something that I can’t even glimpse on the horizon yet. Because isn’t this what faith is all about – the substance of things unseen, the evidence of things hoped for? And I do have a guarantee that I could stake everything on: the certainty that Someone who loves me deeply is in control of my future. So from my perspective, this gamble is definitely in my favor.

It may take a long time, but that’s how it is with everything worthwhile. I don’t feel a need to rush, for what are a few years of waiting when I’m anticipating a lifetime with the right person? In the meantime, this I know: that when he finally arrives, I will know why no other person could have taken his place. I will know that I can only belong with him and with no one else. So no matter what it takes, I am saving my heart for him. I know he will be worth it.